Robert Anton Wilson
Posted by patchouli on September 7, 2011
Answers given by students who took a Bible knowledge test:
1. The first book of the Bible is Guinness’s in which Adam and Eve were created from an apple.
2. Noah’s wife was Joan of Ark.
3. Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night.
4. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.
5. Unleavened bread is bread made with no ingredients.
6. Moses went to the top of Mt. Cyanide to get the 10 Commandments.
7. The seventh commandment is, “thou shalt not admit adultery.”
8. Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
9. Solomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
10. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
11. The people who followed Jesus were called the 12 decibels.
12. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
13. One of the opossums was St. Matthew.
14. Salome danced in 7 veils in front of King Harrod.
15. Paul preached acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
16. David fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
17. A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.
18. The Jews had trouble throughout their history with unsympathetic Genitals.
Adam and Eve in Guniness with the apple sounds like that student had entered the same realms of unconscious association explored by Joyce in Finnegans Wake bob 2/7/97
“At my most ambitious I want to make as big a revolution as Voltaire or Marx or Nietzsche, only I hope mine will be totally wholesome. Of course, that’s hoping for a lot. On a more modest level, I just hope I give some people some good laughs, cheer them up and make them a little more optimistic because the world is suffering from terrible depression. It’s a global illness.”